I swear I heard a knock at the door. But, it could have been anything. I was dancing at the edge of the world. But, I could have seen anything, could have heard anything. Dressed in disguise, it was the summer's halloween night. We got drunk off the stage lights, so we could just exist. When I woke up on the couch on Friday, I had a little bit of optimism but waking up on the floor on Sunday it could have been anything. Tossing symbols and evidence out the window, all cars to the beach. Where we found not only did we not fit in but we could be anything, or pretend to be anything. With a sense of anonymity I let the days fly by. Western travel confirms Western thought. I've never been a cynic more than now. It was anything but happiness. I could have felt anything. Anything else.
Everything must have it's end in the same way that it begins. These cycles are bringing me down. Rotation, routine disrupted by cries that the world is ending. But who's to say that it's yours and mine? Fuck them! It's not ours. We can start over in the same we lived: coasting through these days on our brains and our beds. It's all catching up, races won and lost. Like the time that we spend growing up. But let's not make this personal. I've never been one for specifics. Happiness is subjective and we're only being protective. I've seen my life flash and I don't want to lose this time. No, not to them.
Strange sober sleeper, you'll never find the rest inside your bed. Strange sober sleeper, you'll never find the rest inside your unclouded head. So, where'd you get your bloodshot eyes, defined by vacant disguises? You'll never find the answers here. You've got me wishing for another year. You can try to cry. But, that won't make the days go by. Now, I'm stuck staring at the ceiling. Strange hometown, attempt escape but you know that won't change anything. Break away, and dance atop my vacant grave in whatever city you'd rather be in than here. Better than here. You can try to cry, but that won't make the days go by. Now, I'm stuck staring at the ceiling.
And if she is unlike every other girl I've ever been with then she will be ready to go and I'll want to leave. I've seen my life flash right before her eyes. She closes her eyes to make me think that everything is alright. And maybe it is after all. But, for now it's just this. If my friend knew what I was up to then everything would fall apart. Yes, it would.
about
Written throughout but recorded at the end of 2011 in St. Louis
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